Wednesday, October 13, 2010

New Endeavor

Last night, I was engrossed in my usual Tuesday night television viewing of The Biggest Loser.  Once again, I saw myself. One contestant was not happy even though she lost seven pounds.  Someone, probably Jillian, made the comment, "Nothing is ever good enough for her."  That wasn't me that she was talking about, was it?  Maybe it was.

Today I start a new endeavor.  Today will be the first day of my new part-time job.  I am both excited and apprehensive.  I am a true perfectionist and I always worry that I won't live up to my own warped standard--nothing less than perfect.  Every day it is a struggle to not let my perfectionist tendencies rule.  They often derail me because of the fear of failure and not living up to expectations.  They are my expectations.  I might say that I'm afraid of not living up to everyone's expectations but really it's just my warped standard of nothing less than perfect.  It goes much deeper than the new job. It has permeated every moment of my life. I truly believe that this has often kept me from living the best life possible.

So send up a prayer, wish me luck today.  I am determined to start living a truly full and satisfying life!

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